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We all go through things every day that weigh on our hearts. Grieving the loss of a loved one, an opportunity, or a dream. Making a huge decision. Change. Financial struggles. Dry seasons in our walk with God. Emotional pain. Strife in cherished relationships. You name it.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be a “huge issue” in order to cause some amount of pain or at least challenge in our life that burdens us. Wherever you find yourself on that spectrum, here are a few things to keep in mind as you process the trials of life with God.

1. God cares about you and what you’re going through.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.

(1 Peter 5:7)

We can give our pain, burdens and cares to God. He invites us to talk to Him about the things we care about, what’s worrying us and needs we have. (Psalm 62:8 // Matthew 6:11 // Philippians 4:6)

Beyond just inviting us to bring our pain to Him, these verses reveal God’s heart for us in extending that invitation. God cares about you and what you’re going through. God cares about the burdens you’re carrying. He cares what you’re dealing with in your life, and He wants to help you through it. (Psalm 68:19) That’s the kind of God He is.

2. Be completely honest with God.

I cry out to the Lord; I plead for the Lord’s mercy. I pour out my complaints before Him and tell Him all my troubles.

(Psalm 142:1-2)

We have an open invitation from God to come to Him with our burdens, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do all the time. It may even be a bit ugly–and maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

In my blog post God Can Handle Your Angry Prayers, I talked about how it’s been instilled in some of us that expressing doubt, anger, sadness, or questions to God is wrong and irreverent. Especially when reading the psalms, though, we see that there’s no way that line of thinking is biblical.

David and the other psalmists held back nothing in their exuberant praise of God and they minced no words in their venting and petitioning God about the hard things they were walking through. And you know what? Both expressions are appropriate and reverent.

Being real with God even when it’s raw and unfiltered is not act of disrespect or distrust in God; it’s an act of confidence and friendship. God heard the vulnerable prayers of His people and recorded them in the Bible so you and I would know it’s okay for us to be that vulnerable with Him too.

Throughout the Psalms we find prayers like this: “I am poor and needy. My heart is full of pain. My depression deepens. All night I flood my bed with weeping. I am alone and in deep distress, My problems go from bad to worse. O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?”

Yikes! Did you know it was okay to talk to God like that? It is. (Psalm 6 // Psalm 13 // Psalm 25 // Psalm 31 // Psalm 42-43 // Psalm 69 // Psalm 109 // Psalm 142-143) God isn’t afraid of your complaints and troubles. Not only is prayer an outlet to help us vent to God, but prayer enlists God’s help and gets His power involved in our needs.

3. When you don’t have the words to pray, lean into the Holy Spirit and Scripture.

When your heart is too overwhelmed or your thoughts are too scattered to know how to talk to God, here are a few things that can help.

Pray the phrases from the Bible. Pray the psalms that help you express your emotions, like the ones listed in the previous section. Pray the psalms that help you remind yourself who God is and help you praise Him even in the midst of troubles, like Psalms 95-100.

Pray the New Testament prayers over your situation. (You can download a free guide I made listing the New Testament prayers and ideas on how you can pray them in the Free Resource Library.)

The past couple months I’ve found myself praying Psalm 6 and Colossians 1:9-11 to talk to God about some emotional things I still need Him to help me work through and big decisions I need to make.

Ask Holy Spirit to help you express your heart to God and pray about your situation according to God’s will. One of the Holy Spirit’s roles in our life is that He helps us pray to God when we don’t know how or what to pray, as we see in Romans 8:26-27. The Holy Spirit can bring Bible verses to mind that you can pray. He can put words in your heart that you couldn’t put together on your own in the moment. He even understands when all you have to offer God in prayer are tears and sighs.

Another way the Holy Spirit helps us pray, which we’ve talked about before, is praying in tongues or praying in the spirit–the supernatural ability to speak to God in a spiritual language you don’t naturally know. (Don’t leave yet, hear me out 😉 ) I won’t get into much detail here about my experience with praying in tongues or on what I believe the Bible teaches about it. You can read this blog post to dive into that topic more.

For now, just  know that praying in tongues is another God-given tool in our spiritual arsenal that helps us commune with God (1 Corinthians 14:2, 14-17), overcome in spiritual battles (Ephesians 6:18), and pray in agreement with His will (Romans 8:26-27)–especially when our hearts are heavy and we’re not sure what to pray.  If God has enabled you to pray in tongues, why not use utilize it? If you haven’t experienced prayer this way but want to, why not ask God for it?

I’ve said to God so many times “I want to ask You to help. I want to express to you what I’m feeling, but I just have no idea what to even pray right now.” In those moments I’m so grateful that one of the ways (note: not the only way) the Holy Spirit helps us pray is to empower us to pray to God beyond the weaknesses of our burdened hearts and lack of human words.

I know there are Christians from all different traditions within Christianity who come across my content (glad you’re here, by the way 😉 ) So you can take or leave that part. It’s up to you. But I just wanted to throw it out for your consideration and maybe give you a loving challenge to seek God about it. 🙂

4. Say thank you.

…Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done… (Philippians 4:6-8)

As David and other psalmists in Scripture processed pain and difficulty with God, they also praised God and reminded themselves of His promises in the midst of their lament. It’s a model for us to do the same. Reminding ourselves who God is and what He’s done in the past fills us with hope for what He can do in the present.

Offering praise and thanks to God not only gives Him the worship He deserves but also lifts our hearts from focusing on the greatness of our situation to focusing on the greatness of our God. When we praise God for His character and say thank you for His work in our lives, it helps give us perspective, strength and hope that can only be found in His presence. (Psalm 73)

*For more about how to talk to God through different situations and seasons of life, check out the book  Praying Through by Jarrett Stevens.

***BONUS CONTENT  “These Arms” is based Psalm 62:8 and Psalm 68:19. It’s written from the perspective of God speaking to us about how He is a trusted friend to confide in and a reliable strength to carry us through all the good and hard moments of life. No matter what we’re going through, God is a refuge for us.

Let’s Talk: Which of the reminders from this blog post do you think will be most helpful to you as pray through hard things and why? Discuss this post in the comments below.

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