Blog

The Christian life is meant to be lived in community with others doing the same. Sometimes we don’t know where to start with getting involved in our church communities and building deep relationships with fellow Jesus followers, not just surface ones. Here are four tips to help you grow in Christian community.

1. Commit to a local church.

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:23-25)

The first step to finding good Christian community is to make it a priority to find a good local church and commit yourself to that body of believers. God’s plan for His people is to meet together regularly for encouragement, fellowship, prayer, worship, and studying His Word. (Acts 2:42-47)

When we gather together as believers, we are able to learn from one another and be encouraged in our faith. We provoke one another to love for God and people. We provoke one another to good works–to walk in the ways of Jesus.

Not neglecting the fellowship doesn’t mean you’re sinning if you miss a Sunday at church; it’s a call for believers not to abandon the value and practice of meeting together regularly and following Christ together in community.

If you’re in the process of looking for a local community of believers to join, know that it’s okay to take your time. Many Christians will discourage “church-hopping,” or going from church to church indefinitely without committing anywhere, and rightly so. But know that there is difference between “church hopping” and genuinely taking appropriate time to visit several different churches, learn about them and choose a good church. Bring God into the process too. Pray about where He wants you to be. Ask Him to lead you, give you wisdom and connect you with a spiritual family.

Check out this article by Phylicia Masonheimer about what to look for in choosing a good church.

2. Join a small group.

^“Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.” (Colossians 3:16)

I love that in Acts 2:42-47, it says the Christians gathered at the Temple and they met in homes. Being a part of a small group is super helpful to spiritual growth and building Christian community. Often churches will offer some smaller gatherings of believers during the week to study and discuss the Bible more in-depth, to ask questions, to be vulnerable and process life, to pray together, to have fun, to serve the community etc.

Getting involved in a smaller group of people can help you get to know others in your church more deeply than you would just seeing them on a Sunday morning. It can also make a larger church feel a bit smaller as you get to know some familiar faces and develop deeper relationships with specific people. If there are small group options at your church, consider joining one and commit to being there as consistently as you can be. Great friendships can be formed through small groups.

3. Start serving.

“God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” (1 Peter 4:10)

Did you know that you don’t only attend church to be poured into and encouraged personally but you attend church so you can pour into and encourage others? It’s so easy to come to church with a consumer mentality, but what if you came to church with the mindset that you are not only there to receive, but also to contribute?

I love the way Pastor Craig Groeschel of Life.Church says it: “We are not spiritual consumers; we are spiritual contributors.”

I recently shared in an Instagram post about an encounter with God I had during the worship time at church. It all started with the worship team following the lead of the Holy Spirit into a spontaneous moment of ministry. It started with a group of people using their God-given gifts to serve our spiritual family, and God powerfully met me and many others in that moment.

As I processed that experience with God later, I was reminded why He emphasizes the importance of walking in the spiritual gifts He’s given us in Bible passages like 1 Corinthians 12-14, Romans 12:6-8 and 1 Peter 4:10-11. When we gather together as God’s people and we serve with the gifts He’s given us, God uses our service to build others up, minister to their needs and bring them into encounter with Himself.

Your gift could be hospitality, encouragement, teaching, music or a host of other things. Find out what opportunities your church has for you to use your passions and strengths to serve your brothers and sisters in Christ. Typically, a church will have several volunteer teams or ministries you can join. Come to church ready to give someone a hug, an encouraging word, to pray for them, to hear how their week has been, to welcome a newcomer. And keep your eyes open for opportunities to actually do those things.

You are vital to your community of believers being cared for and built up in faith, so get involved! And know that God is using you as He works in people’s lives, whether you see the fruit of it every time or not.

4. Reach out.

“And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people.”

(Acts 2:44-47)

In point 1 we talked about how God intends for His people to gather regularly to share in spiritual activities that bring us into fellowship with Him and build us up in our faith, but God also intends for His people to share life together day-to-day. The early Christians in Acts 2 not only met regularly for church fellowship activities, they met in homes, shared meals together, fellowshipped together, cared for each other’s needs, and enjoyed each other’s company.

Take initiative and make space for spiritual and “non-spiritual” fellowship with people outside of church gatherings.

What we find in Acts 2:42-47 is an example of a community lifestyle and practices that helped build deep community amongst followers of Christ. Why not think about how you can take initiative to create those kinds of moments with the people in your life?

Start a weekly Bible study or prayer meeting with a small group of friends. Invite people over or out somewhere to have meals together. Invite someone to coffee and ask to hear their story or share what God has been teaching each of you from Scripture. Make space to invite one of your friends or a group of people over to your house 1-2 times a week, just to hang out and have fun.

Show up for the people in your life. Ann Swindell talks about some super practical ways to do this in her RELEVANT Magazine article, The Secret to Creating Friendships That Last.

Make space and time in your life for them. Pray for them and with them. Intentionally encourage them. Build them up spiritually. Bear their burdens with them. Celebrate their joys with them. Help care for them and support them when there is a need in their life–whether those needs are emotional, spiritual or more practical. I’ve been on both the giving and receiving end of this.

I’ve had friends who were struggling in their walk with God but also lived long distance from me.  So, I suggested that we take turns each week finding a sermon to watch online, share it with the other person and once we’d both watched, we would discuss what God spoke to us through it. I’ve also done the same with doing a Bible reading plan together with a friend and discussing it to help keep each other accountable in God’s Word, especially in seasons when it’s hard to stay motivated to do so.

I’ve had friends who have prayed with me, been present for me and helped point me to God during seasons of deep emotional pain and struggle. I’ve had friends help me with financial needs and with rides when I didn’t have a car. I’ve helped friends move or watched their kids for them or made them meals.

A lot of us are longing for deep Christian community and are frustrated with how hard it can be to find genuine community–and that’s legitimate, but few of us realize that we can take initiative to help facilitate community. It was such a game-changer for me to realize that I don’t only have to wait for deep relationships and community to find me, I have a role to play and I can help create those relationships and community as well.

Ask God to open your eyes to what people in your life you should invest in building friendship more deeply. Ask Him to give you ideas how you can be an initiator and facilitator of community with your sphere of influence and your schedule in your current season of life.

Again, Phylicia Masonheimer has some great tips on how to build community no matter what season of life you’re in, but she also has some great perspective on how parents can do this even with young kids in the home. Check out her “Community” highlight in her Instagram stories.

No Church Community Is Perfect

In saying all this, I don’t want to overlook the fact a lot of people have had tough experiences with church or with friendships that make it hard to open up and invest in community. I’m grateful to have been a part of incredible Christian communities throughout my life, but I also know what’s it’s like to have long seasons of longing for friendships and community in between those incredible seasons.

I know how painful it is to feel lonely, like you have no like-hearted people to run with on your faith journey. I know what it’s like to feel like the outcast, to pursue friendship and be rejected, to have friendships fall through…and I still have a hard time trusting people and opening up to them because of that. And I know you may have had a plethora of other types of experiences similar to or different than my own.

Jesus is maturing His Church corporately and each of us individually, which means none of us is perfect and no community is perfect. There are going to be challenges as we all grow to be more like Jesus, and sometimes we will unfortunately hurt each other and need to seek Jesus and trusted advice from mature believers how to respond to those things.

If your experience with church and community has been hard, I’m so sorry. I want to encourage you to ask God to meet you with healing in your pain and frustrations, and to open your heart to what joining a church or investing deeper in relationships with fellow Christians can look like in your life in this season. When I joined the spiritual family I’m a part of now, I was pretty hurt and closed off to people, but God has progressively opened my heart more and more. He’s healing my community hurts through the relationships He’s given me in this season, and He’s given me friends in following Jesus that are truly family to me. I pray He does the same for you.

***At the same time of writing this blog, my church started a series about friendship and small groups! Here are a couple messages from my church about the importance of friendship and using your spiritual gifts to help the Church mature.

Let’s Talk: How is God calling you to be proactive in building Christian community in your life? Discuss this post in the comments below.

[wpsite_follow_us_badges title=”Connect Personally With Me On Social Media!” twitter=”jasminonsocial” facebook=”jasminonsocial” order=”facebook,twitter” twitter_followers_count_display=true twitter_link=false]