“Ideally there would be resolution for a song of faith for me, but there’s no resolution in this song…I want it to feel like a mad prayer.” Country artist Hunter Hayes describes his creative process for his latest single “Dear God” and my gosh are those sentences packed with truth that we just. don’t. talk. about. enough. Whether you follow God or not, this conversation is for you.
And why does my life have to hurt so much?
Why can’t I find any piece of love?
And why do I feel like I’m not enough?
Dear God, are you sure that you don’t mess up?(C)(P) Atlantic Recording Corp.
Fake Doesn’t Equal Faith
I can relate to Hunter. Not too long ago I wrote my own mad prayer song that I didn’t want to resolve either, because when I wrote it my situation wasn’t resolved. And sometimes that unresolved song is the most spiritual song we can sing.
You see, “Dear God” is the prayer you pray to God when you’re in the thick of pain, discouragement and frustration and cute Christian clichés aren’t going to cut it. It’s the prayer you pray when you know God’s character and promises to be true, but your emotions and circumstances seem to have missed that memo.
I’ve been there before, and I lived in that place for a whole year or more. There were some words I know He spoke to me and steps of faith I know He led me to take in pursuing my calling, and once I obeyed I was met with unexpected challenges and disappointments.
And even though He was oh so present and active, I couldn’t see God’s hand at work helping me in those circumstances just yet, so I was confused and hurt. I was embarrassed and started to question whether I had actually heard and obeyed God correctly.
I was angry at my anger because it was putting me at odds with God, my Best Friend, whom I still very much loved dearly. Being angry at Someone you love hurts. I was tempted to walk away from Him. And when I vented to Him I didn’t sugar coat any of my feelings with Him. Those were some angry, ugly prayers.
Hunter goes on to say in the “Dear God” mini documentary video that people often disassociate themselves from faith because they feel like they can’t be mad at God. And it’s so true for Christians and non-professed Christians too.
Often, we feel like we can’t come to God and have a relationship with Him because that would mean we can’t struggle with our faith, or have doubts and questions, or because we’re not good enough, or because there are tough circumstances in our lives.
We shy away from angry prayers because we think they are disrespectful to God. We think that feeling and praying those things makes us bad Christians (or means we never even could become a Christian in the first place) We think it means our faith isn’t strong enough and God would be disappointed in us for feeling that way.
Professed Christian or not, can I tell you something? None of those thoughts are true.
What I learned during that rough season I went through with God? It actually shows strength in friendship with God when you feel comfortable enough to be honest with Him even when it’s ugly. It shows strength of confidence in His character and His love for you that you would dare to pray those ugly, angry prayers to Him.
God doesn’t need or expect us to be fake with Him. God can handle your honesty.
God doesn’t need or expect us to be fake with Him. God can handle your honesty.Click To TweetKing David in the Bible proves this to us. This guy was a brilliant poet and musician and there’s a whole book in the Bible (Psalms, which you should go read) full of personal and corporate songs and prayers he wrote full of jubilant praise, adoration and thanksgiving to God for His character and deeds.
But you know what else is in there? TONS of songs and prayers expressing doubt, disappointment, confusion, depression, fear, confession of sin, anger at circumstances, anger at God.
God could handle David’s honesty–the good and the bad–and He can handle yours too. God can handle my honesty, and Hunter’s honesty, and yours too. God can handle your angry prayers.
Can we still call it praying if
All that I do is sitting here cursing
Cursing Your name again
The truth is it’s not even You
It’s just me that I’m up against
But You made me this
Can we share the blame for this?(C)(P) Atlantic Recording Corp.
God Can Handle Your Raw Emotions
Hurt, disappointment, betrayal, failure, depression, anxiety, grief, confusion, stress, weariness etc. You name it, He can handle it.
Do you know that Jesus actually experienced all of these things? He knows what it’s like to feel grief (John 11:30-35), rejection (Matthew 13:53-58), betrayal (Matthew 26:46-50), fear (Matthew 26:36-45). He knows what it’s like to feel like God isn’t close anymore. (Matthew 27:45-46)
Every emotion, experience, and temptation of human life Jesus experienced and overcame. Meaning two things: 1) He not only empathizes and understands everything you go through and what you’re feeling because He’s been through it Himself when He walked this earth as a human being, 2) He also has the power to help you through those things because He is the God who overcame them and empowers you when you walk through them.
Whatever you are going through, Jesus relates to you in your human experience and He can help you in your human experience. He has compassion, comfort, counsel, and strength beyond on your own to offer you in whatever emotion or circumstance you find yourself. And He is with you there.
So pour out your raw, honest, emotions to Him. Even if it’s anger at Him. I think when we feel angry at God, what’s really happening is we’re feeling anger over our circumstances and projecting it onto God. Or we’re feeling anger that God didn’t intervene differently to change the outcome of things.
O my people, trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge. (Psalm 62:8)
As the last lyric of “Dear God” reminds us, I don’t believe God ever messes up. The Bible tells us that His character, words, ways are perfect at all times. (Psalm 33:4-5 // Psalm 111:7-8) God doesn’t cause our pain, He wants to heal it. But it’s totally valid to need to process emotions when God’s intervention in our lives or in the world looks different than we expected or doesn’t make sense in the moment because we can’t see the full picture like He can. (Isaiah 55:8-9 // Romans 8:28)
I guess I should tell you how my story ended up. Even through the season of wrestling, God helped me to keep clinging to those practices of prayer, the Word and community that He had been forming in me throughout my Christian life in easier seasons and it helped keep me grounded in Him in a hard season.
Eventually, God intervened in a tangible way and reminded me that the experiences of Him speaking to me and calling me to step out were real and true; I hadn’t “missed it.” And He began to work in my situation to turn some practical challenges around as well. He’s so faithful.
You don’t have to bottle up your emotions with God. You can pour them out to Him. Even if they aren’t so nice and neat when they come out. God is a safe place for you to vent and find refuge and you can trust Him. He is eager to give you His peace when you unburden your heart to Him.
*Watch the video, or listen to “Dear God” on iTunes & Spotify. *There is one use of strong language in the song, so please be mindful before listening or reading the lyrics if that might be a stumbling block for you.
***BONUS CONTENT I wrote this song during a season when I was hurting and angry at God. I trusted Him and took a risk and things didn’t go the way I expected. I didn’t understand and I felt like He let me down–even though that’s not His character–because the journey was all so personal. I carried hurt and confusion toward God for about a year, and that really took a toll on my relationship with Him even though I still loved Him so much. This is my wrestling with God song. May it become your prayer too if you need it.
Let’s Talk: Have you ever felt like you couldn’t approach God because you thought you couldn’t be honest with Him? Which lyrics of “Dear God” most resonate with you and why? Discuss this post in the comments below.
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